Dear Birthmother,

The unconditional love of a mother, the selfless giving from the heart, is truly a gift with no equal. As you begin your adoption plan for your baby, remember that you are giving that baby a gift that will continue giving for the rest of his or her life. It will be years before your baby realizes the sacrifice you have made but rest assured, one day your child will appreciate all that you are doing today. Thank you for reading our letter and including us in your process. We would be honored to be considered an adoptive family for your child and look forward to welcoming a little boy or girl into our lives.

When we ask ourselves why we would like another child, there are many reasons that come to mind but they can all really be summarized by one. Life is a journey and in our journey, we feel our family is not yet complete. There is still so much love that we have to share with another child and we believe another child’s love can add so much to our family. Both of us were lucky to grow up with siblings and we both know the special bond that only siblings have. In many regards, it transcends the bond between
parent and child. Dinner every night around the kitchen table, the fighting in the back seat during the family vacations, the Sunday morning slumber party in Mom and Dad’s bed, the secrets that no one else will ever know – these are some of the countless ingredients needed to build a family. When taken together, these experiences result in the foundation for a lifetime of love and trust and an assurance that we are not alone. We have been blessed with a beautiful son, Brendan, who is quickly approaching his fourth birthday. He is happy and healthy and very bright. We believe if he were to have a little brother or sister, they would both be able to share and grow together and provide each other, and us, with that special ingredient that makes a family complete.

What will your child’s dreams be? Where will those dreams lead? Will your child win an Academy Award? A Nobel Peace Prize? Maybe he will be a Most Valuable Player or an accomplished concert pianist. Maybe she will be a Space Shuttle pilot or a brain surgeon. The reality is that we have no crystal ball and the future will be his or hers to discover. What we do have to offer you is a pledge that no matter where your child’s dreams lead, we will always encourage your child to live his or her own life and live it to its fullest potential. We can also promise you that your child will be raised in a loving home surrounded by parents who are committed to each other, a big brother who is anxiously awaiting a younger brother or sister and a cat who, well, sleeps a lot and is always looking for another scratch on the head. Janice’s family lives nearby and is very actively involved in our lives. Brendan loves to go to Grandma’s house or Auntie’s house and visits nearly every week. Our house will be a home where the daily life is structured enough to provide guidance and nurture trust, yet flexible enough to allow for the spontaneity and creativity that is the spice of life. It will be a home where physical discipline is never used. Instead, our discipline will consist of a gentle hand of positive reinforcement and consistent reasoning. Your child will learn the meaning of respect, honesty and patience by example and by living in a home that insists upon it. Education is an important value to us. While academic excellence cannot be promised, there will always be a strong emphasis and focus on education and learning, both inside the school room and out. We believe an open adoption is healthy for both you and your baby and your child will know from an early age about his or her story. And finally, laughter. No house can be a home without a healthy dose of laughter to echo through the halls and fill the corners of every room.

The story of our family began over dinner with a mutual friend. We felt an immediate connection and our relationship quickly grew. We discovered in the streets of Paris and
Venice that we shared a love for travel and adventure. We discovered during the training and running of a marathon that twenty six miles is an awfully long way to run.
Along the way, we also discovered that sushi wasn’t as hard to make as we thought, and napping on a lazy Sunday afternoon is much more enjoyable when spent with someone you love. It didn’t take long for us to realize that our love was real and everlasting and, on New Year’s Eve 2000, we were engaged. We currently live in an ethnically diverse neighborhood in San Diego on a quiet cul de sac in a recently remodeled home. The growing number of small children – there’s a newborn baby boy just across the street – would seem to insure that the neighborhood will be filled with the sounds of children laughing for years to come. The nearby elementary school is rated as one of the best in the district and the Zoo and Seaworld and the beaches are all nearby.

Janice is a very caring and compassionate person who exemplifies that kindness everyday. She is the Director of a non-profit Medical Clinic which provides health care services to the lower income populations within San Diego. She has chosen this profession because it allows her to help those who are the most in need and can least help themselves. In her sixteen plus years with the organization, she has served many patients who were facing very challenging situations. They are the homeless, the indigent, the unemployed. They are alcoholics, drug users, physically abused. They are mentally handicapped, physically challenged and emotionally neglected. Many are foreigners in a strange country that do not speak the language and have no one to trust. They are the slice of society that have fallen between the cracks of the social system and some are, for any one of a thousand reasons, quite literally living one day at a time. Janice opens the doors to her clinic and invites them in and asks them, “How can I help you? What can I do for you today?” She tries to provide the medical services that many of these people probably wouldn’t otherwise receive, and she tries to treat them with the respect and dignity that, frankly, many of these people probably wouldn’t otherwise receive. And she does it every day! That is what continues to amaze me. The compassion and kindness that is required to do this job is remarkable – very inspiring. And of course, that compassion and kindness is not left at the clinic but rather is an integral part of who she is. But that is not all that she is. She is also my loving wife and wonderful mother to my son. She is organized, efficient and fastidiously neat. She likes to read and exercise and travel and go to the theatre. She is a Christian whose faith is strong and her devotion absolute. She loves to play and sing with Brendan and every Friday is their “play day” when they can enjoy each other alone.

Gary has a genuine sense of happiness and zest for life that is infectious. I have never heard him speak an unkind thing of anyone and it is indicative of his nature to always see the good in people. Those are rare qualities and are traits that have enriched our relationship enormously and continue to brighten my life on a regular basis. Gary has been an Architect for sixteen years and is an Associate in his present firm. He has a creative mind and thrives on the challenge of designing a building and watching that building grow out of the ground to completion. To walk through a recently completed building where there was once an empty lot gives him the pride and satisfaction of a job well done. To say Gary is an avid baseball fan would not do him justice. His love for the game surpasses anything I have ever experienced. In the years that we have known each other, I have become quite the baseball and Padres fan. The season tickets came with the marriage license and wedding ring … as did the baseball memorabilia and boxes and boxes of baseball cards. No one would have imagined that I could one day explain what a “balk” is but if you ever need to know, please give me a call. Scientists still debate whether the love of baseball is a genetic trait but it is clear to us that Gary has successfully passed it on to Brendan. Brendan shares a passion for the game – he could hit a pitched ball at eighteen months – and many a night is spent playing baseball in the garage.

Tonight, we asked Brendan if he would like a little brother or sister and he gleefully replied “yes!” with the exuberance that only a three year old can convey. We then asked him what he would do for his new brother or sister and he promptly replied, “Me teach him baseball and Clifford (“Clifford the Big Red Dog” is one of his current favorite computer games), change his diapers, play with my bubbles … everything!” (We’re going to get the diaper changing thing in writing.) How much stock can you put in the words of a three year old? Well, not much but if you were to spend time with Brendan, you would know that he has within him a gentle nature. We have a friend who brings her one year old daughter, Tally, to visit often and Brendan is very loving and protective of her. The self centered, demanding nature that is a two year old somehow gives way to an uncharacteristic patience and tolerance when Tally pulls away his toys and grabs his sippy cup. The gentle way he pets our aging kitty and his constant attention to feeding his fish, Nemo, are also indicative of his nurturing and responsible nature.

Today you are faced with a monumental decision. Who will love my baby? Who will care for my baby and nurture my baby and raise my baby to fulfill his or her every dream? It is a decision that must be made from the heart and it is a decision that will be final. And yet, as daunting as this decision may seem, you must remember that it is a decision that will benefit all involved. It is a new beginning. For your baby, he or she will have a loving home and family in which to grow up. Your child will likely have opportunities and experiences that he or she may not otherwise have. For the adoptive family, you will be fulfilling a dream and for that, they will never be able to thank you enough. There are so many caring families who are waiting for a child to love and you can take pride knowing that you helped one family to achieve that goal. And for you, you will have peace. You may not be in a position in your life to care for your baby but there is no greater gift that you could give to your child than to start him or her with a loving family and give him or her the foundation for a successful and happy life. Finally, as you face this difficult decision, remember to listen to your heart…trust in your heart…believe in your heart. “The heart has its reasons, which reason cannot know.”

We would be privileged and honored to be considered to become your child’s adoptive family. If you would like more information about us, you may contact Cindy Simonson at A Act of Caring, (800) 556-5635. Regardless of your decision, we wish you the very best that life has to offer.

Thank you and God bless you,

Gary and Janice